By the time you talk with an attorney about getting a divorce, you probably have a lot of questions and a lot to say yourself. There is the journey you have been on to get there and all the things your spouse has done and won’t take back but what about you? That’s right. You. Don’t wait until you get to court for your attorney to find out that you have run up the credit cards or drink in excessive. Maybe you would rather not watch your kids Pee Wee football games every weekend. Yes, that will come out and your attorney needs to know. It is best to tell your counsel before it comes out in the courtroom.
Don’t just share how bad your spouse is (although we need to hear those facts too) and how wonderful you are. Share your faults too. They are bound to come out because guess what your spouse is telling their attorney – all your fault and how wonderful they are. The truth lies somewhere in the middle and that is where the negotiations begin.
Yes, there are some cases where it is all one person’s “fault” and not the other’s but the vast majority of cases fall in the area of gray, where both parties play a role in the ending of the marriage. Ohio is a “no fault” state meaning that, in general, the court is not going to blame either party for the end of the marriage unless there is some financial misconduct or egregious behavior that had an impact on the marriage to the detrimental impact of the future earnings of the parties. That is rare. In general, the courts (if it comes to a trial) and therefore, attorneys, look to resolve cases in a fair and equitable manner starting with what is equal and moving the needle only if that is found to be a more equitable solution. “Because he stayed out late” or “because she drank a lot” are not reasons for blame the other side but it will help your attorney to let them know what your spouse is going to say about you. Let them know “the bad stuff” too so you can best prepare for it. Chances are your attorney has heard it before. However, the last place we want to hear new information is in the courtroom, especially from our own client.