Not all marriages end with knockdown, drag-out fights. Some quietly fade over time.
“Quiet Divorces” are what happens when couples who may have once had a strong emotional and physical connection no longer have that attachment to each other. Maybe one of them no longer makes as much effort in the marriage that they used to. Over time, that bond that drew them to each other fades or one or both of them is not willing to make the leap to end the marriage. They may continue to live in the same house and may even raise the kids together. They may even be great co-parents, but they no longer feel an attachment to each other. After a while, co-existing is just what they do.
The separation, emotionally and mentally, over time can take a toll on the couple and can have an impact on their children as well. Without a connection, parties tend to find they don’t have common goals.
- Do they still parent the same way or want the same things for their children?
- Do they still want the same goals in retirement?
- What does the future hold?
- Do they still want the same things that they wants before?
Rather than file for divorce and cause conflict, especially when issues of child custody are involved, some people would rather opt to co-exist until the children emancipate and quietly live together rather than risk a messy custody battle which would also mean giving up the children half the time.
While parents are oftentimes concerned about what a divorce can do to their children, quiet divorces can also have an impact on children. If parents are not on the page as to the kids, will strong co-parenting last?
Quiet divorce is on the rise perhaps because people don’t want to fight but also because they are prioritizing other things in their lives and trying to avoid conflicts that they have seen family members and friends go through when they went through divorce battles.
Will quiet divorces continue to be the trend moving forward? It is hard to say but communicating what your priorities are is always important. If you are thinking about divorce, seek professional advice about your options.